Unsettling Thoughts
by Life.is.a.stage.35
Summary: Since the day of the almost kiss with Beck, Tori's mind has been elsewhere. Did she make the right choice? Will she change her mind and try to fix things with Beck?


**Author's Note:**_I died. Dan killed me with Tori Goes Platinum. Dan is a freaking troll! They were so close, so close to kissing! But noooooooo, Tori is a good girl and could never do anything to hurt anyone! (Wait, but what about what she did to Cat with that one guy? Hmmm…) I wish I could shake Tori by the shoulders and knock some sense into her. Denying Beck? How could she! I didn't think it was possible to deny someone that looks as great as he does. *Sigh* But alas, nothing happened and I was devastated. Still, the fact that he wanted to kiss her means he likes her at least a little, which means there's hope for the future! So in honor of the diehard Bori fan in me, and since I haven't written anything in a while, I thought that I'd write you all a one-shot, just to fill Fan Fiction with more Bori! There definitely needs to be more Bori on here…. Of course, you know I'm not Dan, nor would I ever take credit for creating such a wonderful show. On that note, here's the story!_

Walking home alone is never fun, especially if you're someone as social as I am. To be honest though, I was kind of glad that Trina had ditched me at school to go on a "date". I needed this alone time. I had _a lot_ to think about. Beck and I….we almost kissed. Twice. And although the second time I didn't let him kiss me, the first time was a completely different story. We had both leaned in, and had my mom not come in at that particular moment, I would have probably swiped a bit of spit with Beck.

I don't even know what happened. One minute we were just talking about my change in personality, and then he complimented me….well, sort of. Most people wouldn't consider "you're awesome" as much of a compliment, but this was Beck. Beck wasn't exactly one for compliments. After that….I don't know. It was nice to hear him say something like that to me, no matter how plain it sounded to the outside world, because he always meant it. Beck was the most honest person I had ever met, so I could always rely on him to tell me things how they were. If he was calling me awesome, than he definitely thought I was awesome.

And then Beck tried to kiss me, and I didn't really think about it. I just went along with what he was doing, and I was so close to him when my mom came in and we both had mini spasms and shot out of that couch so fast that it was obvious we were both nervous about something. My mom had smiled knowingly, and I'm almost positive she knew what was going on. But how could she know what was going on when _I_ couldn't even figure out what the heck had just happened?

The second time, I caught myself. You can call her whatever you want, but Jade still had feelings, and particularly strong ones for Beck. Of course, I was still clinging to the idea of one day befriending her. Had I kissed Beck, all hope of that friendship happening would blow up in flames. Sure, Jade wouldn't know that we had kissed, but _I_ would. Plus, chances are, after that kiss would have come another kiss, and then a date, and then maybe a relationship and Jade would hate me if I were to become the new Mrs. Oliver.

Still, part of me was upset at myself for stopping Beck's advances. I don't know why, but I was disappointed that Beck didn't pry at me some more so I would eventually give in and kiss him. I was even more disappointed when he acted like absolutely nothing had happened after my performance. I had absolutely no reason to feel hurt since _I_ had been the one who had rejected _him_, and not the other way around. Still, it kind of sucked that Beck didn't seem as weird about the whole situation as I did.

All of this was running through my head while I strolled through the streets of Hollywood. I hadn't been watching where I was going really, so I just stumbled around and ended up anywhere. And just _where_ is anywhere?

"You have got to be kidding me! What, is my life a soap opera now? Was I _destined_to come to the house of the one who won't leave my mind?" I yelled out to the heavens sarcastically. A chuckle was heard from behind me, and I turned around to find no other than Beck Oliver himself.

He was staring at me with amused brown eyes, his left eyebrow arched, hands on his hips, and that playful smirk of his pasted on his face. It had gotten pretty windy since I had left the school, and his hair was blowing all over the place. This was Beck though, so of course he still managed to look breathtaking while he was only standing there. Darn kid. He was just so camera friendly!

He made his way over to me and grinned. "So, you've been thinking of me, have you?" he questioned as he elbowed me playfully. For some reason, this playful action of his got me even more nervous than I had originally been. My breathing quickened quite a bit and I felt kind of dizzy. _Oh, calm down Tori! You didn't even like him a week ago when he tried to kiss you! Well, you kind of did, but that's beyond the point! Relax!_I internally yelled at myself.

"I have most definitely _not_ been thinking of you!" I lied tiredly, because there really was no point in denying it. Beck had heard me yell at the clouds that I had come to the home of someone I had been thinking about.

"Then who did you come to see?" he asked amusedly, obviously waiting to see what great comeback I'd come up with.

"I came to see your fish! The little goldfish has been stuck in my head since I saw him when we went to the beach that one time!" I remarked seriously, though I burst out laughing when Beck's uncontrollable laughter got to me.

"Oh really? Well, why don't you come into the RV and see him? I'm sure he'll be as pleased to see you as I am," Beck commented. He didn't let me answer and just pulled into his RV. Either way, I wouldn't have been able to say much to him. Beck's little comment was making my heart rate speed up again. _He said he's pleased to see me,_one part of me was saying, but then other part of me was saying, _you're so lame. Don't get excited over something like that._ I was getting more and more confused by the minute. Did I like Beck? Didn't I? And what about Jade?

_What_about_Jade?_ I thought. She cared for Beck, but she was mean to him and usually did nothing but fight with him. They were broken up anyway, so it wouldn't really matter if I liked Beck. _He_ had tried to kiss _me_, not the other way around. If he had tried to kiss me, didn't that mean he liked me? Or was I just a rebound?

"Earth to Tori, Earth to Tori! Can you hear me?" Beck was yelling at me as he waved a hand in my face and held up a water bottle dangerously close to my face. Was he going to spl-?

He did it then. He splashed me with the freezing cold water from his bottle and I yelped in shock and started shaking all over. Beck had drenched me to the bone and the water had been too cold for me handle. Who knew water bottles could hold enough water to soak my entire attire?

While I stood there shivering, frozen in place, Beck ran around his RV, frantically trying to find me a towel. He eventually found one lying under a pile of dirty clothes and wrapped me in it. The towel had a funny smell from the clothes, but right now I was grateful for any kind of warmth. Since I was still unable to move, Beck carried me over to his bed and placed me on it gingerly. He lied down next to me and held me, rubbing my arms with his hands to warm me up some more.

After a few minutes of that, I was feeling a little better. I could move a little more, and I threw my arms around Beck so as to bring him closer to me. He really was very warm…. That's all it was, I swear! I just needed warmth. It's not like I just wanted him to be closer to me. Although, he did smell really good.

When I had recovered from my frozen state, I took advantage of the fact that my arms were around him to slap him in the back of the head. He shot up, yelped in pain, and rubbed his head as he stared at me in confusion.

"What was that for?" he asked, sounding hurt. I almost regretted that I had smacked him. Almost.

"You jerk! Why would you bathe me with freezing cold water?" I yelled at him, trying to be mad, though I really wasn't mad anymore. I was feeling guiltier and guiltier by the minute. He looked genuinely hurt, and he had gone through all that trouble of keeping me warm.

"You were just standing in the middle of the RV staring blankly at a wall! You weren't answering me back! I was worried that maybe you were having some kind seizure or something! I couldn't think of anything else to do!" he argued. I was taken aback by this. He had obviously been freaking out the whole time I'd been standing there deciding whether I liked him or not. Now I _really_ felt bad.

"What kind of a seizure freezes someone in place like that?" I mocked, all of the anger I had felt completely dissolving away. He was too cute. Worrying about me like that. He killed me, he really did. My heart was beating fast once again. Beck was going to give me a heart attack, I swear he was.

He seemed to catch on quickly that I wasn't mad anymore. He smiled and poked my cheekbones playfully.

"Well apparently your kind of seizures," he joked and gently shoved me down towards the bed, though his face was serious again. "What were you thinking about so profoundly that you couldn't even hear?"

"Us," I mumbled without thinking, and as my words sunk in, I sat up. "No! That's not what I meant!"

"Well then, what _did_ you mean?" he demanded, although gently. He seemed impatient, running his hand through his hair roughly.

"Look Beck, honestly? I'm not sure what I mean. There isn't really and "us", but then again, there kind of is. And I like you, but then there's Jade and the possibility that I'm just your rebound. I don't want to-"

"You think you're a rebound?" he interrupted, sounding a little mad. Or hurt, more like it. But how could he expect me not to think that? He had almost barely broken up with Jade, and he was trying to get with me? It seemed sort of out place.

"Well let's be serious here, Beck. You just broke up with you girlfriend and then you try to kiss-"

"You're making it seem like I tried to kiss you the day I broke up with Jade! I think it's been more than enough time since I broke up with her to try and find someone else-"

"You two dated for almost three years! I would think it would take a little more time for you to move on from-"

"Whoever told you that it takes a certain amount of time to get over someone lied to you! It's not hard to move on from someone like Jade when there's someone better right-"

"You won't let me finish talking!" I yelled, irritated.

"Neither will you!" Beck accused, crossing his arms and looking away from me.

We both stayed quiet for some time, our backs facing each other, staring angrily at a wall. After a while, the anger had fizzled, but I was too scared that he was still mad at me to try and apologize. I felt like crying. I didn't think that solving our problems would cause even _more_ problems. Beck sighed heavily and I felt him shift. In a second, he was sitting next to me.

"I don't like fighting with you," I murmured as looked down at my feet dangling from the bed. I couldn't look at him right now. Beck wasn't mad anymore; I knew that. Still, I didn't think I could look at him being all sad either. Especially knowing that I had caused that sadness.

"No one likes to fight. Now relax. I'm fine now and you're fine now. There's nothing to worry about," Beck stated, stroking my hair to help calm me.

"But there _are_things to worry about! Don't you get it? We haven't solved nothing about what's going on with us! We can't just go and do things! We have to think-"

And then Beck stopped me midsentence again, but this time he used his lips. I had been so busy bickering that I hadn't even noticed him inching closer to me until his mouth was already on mine and his hand was brusquely grasping my cheeks. I didn't even try to struggle because I couldn't think about anything while his mouth was doing things to my own mouth. In order to understand what I'm trying to say, you have to have kissed someone who can kiss, and I mean _really_ kiss.

When someone with talent for making out kisses you, all logic escapes your mind, and all you're left with is feeling. You forget that you were mad, or sad, or that you had been saying something, and once they release you from this enchantment, all you can say is, "what?"

That was exactly what kissing Beck was like. He was an expert. He kissed with such gentleness, but in a way that told you that he was in control no matter how delicate he was being. His lips moved in some kind of rhythm, likes steps to a dance. Even though you probably have never seen such a complicated dance, his lead keeps you from screwing up and you can convince people into thinking that you've done this dance many times before. I doubt that explained much, but that's what Beck's kiss felt like.

It was so great actually, that I kind of forgot to breath. Yeah, that's exactly what a great kisser does to you. Only when I started to feel like I was drowning in a bad way did I pull myself away from him. He was grinning down at me, obviously mocking me because I wasn't able to get out of that kiss.

"Silly, silly Tori. You don't _think_ when it comes to matters of the heart; you _feel_. Don't worry about Jade. Don't worry about me. Tell me what _you _want, not what you _think_ is right. In the end, someone is going to get hurt. Someone _always_ends up hurt. You can't stop it from happening. And you have to stop doubting so much. Just do what feels right to you. You could get hurt; that's definitely a possibility. But wouldn't you rather have a happy memory of what was then the regret of what could have been?" Beck lectured me in his usual poetic matter. I sighed dramatically.

"Damn you and your deepness!" I jested and lied down. Beck smiled as he reciprocated my actions and lied on his side so that he was looking at me. He slung his right arm around me and looked at me for a long time, looking extremely thoughtful.

"What?" I asked him timidly. He looked like he was examining something on my face.

"Seriously, your cheekbones are crazy high! I mean, I know people are always going on about how great they are, but seriously! I'm barely taking notice that they're really up there!" he told me ecstatically. I couldn't tell if Beck was being serious or if he was just trying to be funny, but it didn't matter to me either way. He was just so freaking cute!

It's really no surprise what happened next. Something about this moment, with him ranting about how wonderful my cheekbones were, helped my heart settle on what to do. I threw myself at Beck and our lips met again.

He had probably been expecting this, because he didn't even flinch and he was already kissing me from the moment my lips touched his.

After a few moments of kissing, I pulled away and looked down, blushing. Beck just laughed, twirling my hair with his left hand while he rubbed my arm with his right.

"I'm going to take that kiss as a yes to us," Beck supposed sarcastically. I looked up at him and laughed.

"I suppose it is a yes."

**Author's Note: **_So there you go. It might not be too good, since I did only take a day to do it. And not even that much, since I only worked on it when I wasn't busy at work Tuesday. Please review! Favorites are also welcome! Just don't alert this story, since I'm not planning on doing any type of continuation to it. I hope to see you all for my next story!_

_-Ana_


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